mazohyst of decadence

mazohyst of decadence
Release	GAUZE (1999)
Length	9:22
Lyrics by	京
Composed by	薫
Live Debut	1997.08.08
Last Played	2014.08.30
PV
Previous	蜜と唾
Next	予感
GAUZE (1999) Tracklist
eins _ GAUZE -mode of adam- zwei _ Schweinの椅子 drei _ ゆらめき vier _ raison detre fünf _ 304号室、白死の桜 sechs _ Cage sieben _ 蜜と唾 acht _ mazohyst of decadence neun _ 予感 zehn _ MASK elf _ 残-ZAN- zwölf _ アクロの丘 dreizehn _ GAUZE -mode of eve- Poems

Lyrics
These are the lyrics of the 1999 version of this song. You can find the lyrics of the 2022 version here.
Japanese	Rōmaji
生み落とされる子供　罪の意識の無い大人　落とされ 名前も無い僕　何故ここにいるのかさえ　解らないけれど たった数ヶ月の命とも知らず・・・・ 僕は愛されたい　僕は生まれたい　この母体の中見つめて 僕が意識を待った時から二ヶ月目何かが早いと感じた まだ何も出来ない　そのうちプラグが・・・・ 不完全な僕は掻き落とされた痛みが体を突き抜ける 母の泣き叫ぶ声耳鳴りが止まない 白衣の大人達僕を救い上げた 冷血に満ち溢れた瞳に血塗れの右手の無い僕が写る そのまま黒いビニールに包まれた だんだん意識が薄れる中僕は考える静かに Cageの僕をこのまま愛せるならそれでいい　許せず 愛されない僕はこのまま死んだ方がいい だから産声を上げず　静かに眠りましょう 一度だけ母の愛この手で感じてみたい これが愛なのかもしれない　ありがとう 二度と開かない扉　固く閉められていた でもね僕はきっと未来の君だから ラララ・・・・ 体焼き尽くされ骨が無くなるまで焼き尽くす さよなら	Umiotosareru kodomo　Tsumi no ishiki no nai otona　Otosare Namae mo nai boku　Naze koko ni iru no ka sae　Wakaranai keredo Tatta sūkagetsu no inochi tomo shirazu.... Boku wa aisaretai　Boku wa umaretai　Kono karada no naka mitsumete Boku ga ishiki o matta toki kara nikagetsu me nani ka ga hayai to kanjita Mada nani mo dekinai　Sono uchi puragu ga.... Fukanzen na boku wa kaki otosareta itami ga karada o tsukinukeru Haha no naki sakebu koe mimi nari ga yamanai Hakui no otona-tachi boku o sukui ageta Reiketsu ni michi afureta hitomi ni chimamire no migi te no nai boku ga utsuru Sono mama kuroi binīru ni tsutsumareta Dandan ishiki ga usureru naka boku wa kangaeru shizuka ni Kikeiji no boku o kono mama aiseru nara sore de ii　Yurusezu Aisarenai boku wa kono mama shinda hō ga ii Dakara ubugoe o agezu　Shizuka ni nemurimashō Ichido dake haha no ai kono te de kanjite mitai Kore ga ai na no ka mo shirenai　Arigatō Nido to hirakanai tobira　Kataku shimerarete ita Demo ne boku wa kitto mirai no kimi dakara Ra ra ra.... Karada yakitsukusare hone ga nakunaru made yakitsukusu Sayonara
Translations
Translation on GAUZE	Translation on AVERAGE PSYCHO
A fetus is the product of irresponsible adults. Here I am, without a name, I don't even know why I'm here. I don't even know if I just live for a few months… I want to be loved, I want to be born, staring at the inside of the mother's body. I felt something go fast, it was the second month of consciousness. I can't do anything yet, before long, here comes a plug… I was scraped out, the pain goes through my incomplete body. My mother's screaming stings my ears. People in white gowns picked me up. In their cruel eyes, I see myself, covered with blood without a right arm. They wrapped me in a black plastic sheet. Loosing consciousness, I try to think calmly. If you love me the way I am, even if I'm deformed, it is fine with me. I can't forgive you. If you can't love me, I rather die as I am. That's why I don't bother to cry like a newborn baby, and I'll just sleep in peace. Just once, I want to feel my mother's love with my hand. This may be love, thank you. The door was tightly closed and will never open again. I must be yours in the future. La, la, la… The body will be burnt until it has disappeared SAYONARA	A birth of a child　An adult without a sense of guilt　Dropped I have no name　I don't even know why I'm here　Not even knowing I only have a few months to live… I want to be loved　I want to be born　As I see myself in the womb 2 months after I started to have a conscience. I felt something go fast I still can't do anything　But soon the plug… The incomplete me, the pain runs through my body My mother screaming　The cries don't stop　The people in white scoop me up The cold blood in their eyes　They see myself covered in blood with no right hand I am just wrapped in a black plastic bag As I am losing conscience I think quietly If you can love me in the cage, just that will be OK　Unforgivable If I am not loved I should just die, that would be much better So don't make a sound, just sleep quietly Just once I want to feel my mothers love with my hands Is this love?　Thank you The door that is never to be opened again　It's shut tightly But then again I am probably you in the future La la la… My body is burned　Burned to the bones Good bye
These lyrics were translated by an uncredited translator.

Trivia

• The studio version of this song has only been performed a total of four times, on September 15, 16 and 19, as well as December 18, 1999. Not counting DIABOLOS (Demo2010, Short Ver.), it's the song with the lowest number of performances out of all Dir En Grey songs.

Title

• This song was initially called 新曲3 (Shinkyoku 3) ("New Song 3") during Dir En Grey's indies days in 1997–98. In SHOXX #59, the song is mistakenly called 新曲8 (Shinkyoku 8) on the setlist. By April 1998, the band had decided on the song's title, but wrote it in Katakana as マゾヒスト・オブ・デカダンス (Mazohisuto obu dekadansu). After the name "mazohyst of decadence" was established, magazines occasionally wrote it in all caps.
• "Mazohyst" is a corruption of "masochist".

Lyrics

• "Cage" is a placeholder for a word that is censored in the track. The censored word is 奇形児 (kikeiji), which means "deformed child".
  • Interestingly, Kyo sings the き (ki), but the rest is censored with a beep. The Japanese pronounciation of "cage" is ケージ (kēji). If the two words are put together, they're pronounced キケージ (kikēji) or きけいじ (kikeiji).
  • During live performances, Kyo doesn't censor the word.
• The spoken part wasn't included in the printed lyrics:

本当にこれでいいんですね (Hontō ni kore de iindesu ne) – Are you really sure about this?

ハイ (Hai) – Yes.

あなたは何人目ですか (Anata wa nanninme desu ka) – How many times have you had an abortion?

一人目です (Hitori-me desu) – This is the first time for me.

僕は数え切れない子供を殺しています (Boku wa kazoekirenai kodomo o koroshite imasu) – I've been involved in countess abortions, murders.

あなたは許せますか・・・・・ (Anata wa yurusemasu ka…..) – Can you forgive me?

もう一度聞きます (Mō ichido kikimasu) – I'm asking you one more time.

本当にこれでいいんですね (Hontō ni kore de iindesu ne) – Are you sure about this?

ハイ (Hai) – Yes.

用意はいいですか (Yōi wa ii desu ka) – Are you ready?

ハイ (Hai) – Yes.

では始めましょう (Dewa hajimemashō) – Let's get started.

• The whole spoken part also served as the title for the live on December 18, 1999, which was released on VHS and DVD as 1999年12月18日大阪城ホール (1999-nen 12-gatsu 18-nichi Ōsaka-jō Hōru).

Appearances

Release Title	Release Date	Song Title	Notes
Audio
GAUZE	1999.07.28	mazohyst of decadence	Regular version.
TOUR14 PSYCHONNECT -mode of “GAUZE”?-	2015.01		Arranged version. Recorded on August 30, 2014 at 新木場STUDIO COAST.
Video
GAUZE-62045-	1999.11.17	mazohyst of decadence	Music video.
1999年12月18日大阪城ホール	2000.02.16		Filmed on December 18, 1999 at 大阪城ホール.
AVERAGE PSYCHO	2005.07.27		Music video.
TOUR2011 AGE QUOD AGIS VOL.1 [EUROPE & JAPAN]	2012.06.20		Arranged version. Filmed on November 8, 2011 at 新木場STUDIO COAST.
輪郭	2012.12.19		Symphonic version. Filmed on November 11, 2011 at Tokyo Dome City Hall.
SUSTAIN THE UNTRUTH	2014.01.22		Arranged version. Filmed on May 24, 2013 at 渋谷公会堂.
TOUR13 GHOUL	2014.04.23		Arranged version. Filmed on September 19, 2013 at 横浜BLITZ.
TOUR14 PSYCHONNECT -mode of “GAUZE”?-	2015.01		Arranged version. Filmed on August 30, 2014 at 新木場STUDIO COAST.
TOUR24 PSYCHONNECT	2025.01		Arranged version. Filmed on June 26, 2024 at LINE CUBE SHIBUYA.